In wounded family systems, enmeshment is often the name of the game…
…and in this email series, we’ll explore how enmeshed relationships impact the creative process in ways that might surprise you.
(We’ll also be looking at how all of this plays into magic, so pull up your Hogwarts stool.)
With enmeshment, rather than autonomous individuals having the space to connect and belong while also tending to their own needs, there are little to no boundaries.
You have to sacrifice your boundaries and needs if you want to belong. You can’t have both.
For example, in enmeshed relationships you’re often expected to take care of other people at your own expense, which might include:
Denying your feelings
Forcing yourself to think as they do or risk punishment
Contorting yourself to meet their expectations and feeling guilty if you can’t
Blaming yourself if things aren’t working
You might also struggle with rage, resentment, shame, and even hatred, living within these oppressive dynamics…
…which fuels fear and shame (“Maybe I’m secretly a bad person??). Better double down even harder when it comes to taking care of others, in order to prove that you’re good.
Creativity is your ability to do your unique work in the world, whether that’s constructing a legal argument, planting a garden, casting a spell, raising awareness for a cause, or choreographing a dance.
Creativity involves discovering what your interests and latent talents are, and devoting time and energy to honing them so you can bring these gifts into the world in a way that only you can.
There’s a very, very, very strong connection between your ability to do this creative work and the degree of enmeshment in your relationships.
We’ll begin the series by looking at ways to tell if a relationship is enmeshed.
Here’s a little taste:
You have a heightened sensitivity to how the other person behaves toward you. If it seems like they’re unhappy with you or withdrawing, you feel deeply unsettled and can’t relax until you “fix it.” More generally, you feel like it’s your job to manage their emotional state, perhaps by not doing or saying things that could upset them.
After that, we’ll uncover a surprising reason why enmeshed relationships can feel so damn hard to leave, even if, consciously, we know how damaging they are.
We’ll connect all of this to creativity (and magic) by looking at archetypes through a Jungian Magic lens.
What the heck are archetypes, why do they have such a massive impact on our creativity, and what’s their special connection with enmeshed relationships?
And in subsequent emails, we’ll weave in threads like feeling paralyzed by what people might think, to the extent that you’re too locked up to create…
…how relationships, creativity, and magic thrive in the mysterious in-between (even though our ego would rather avoid uncertainty like the plague)…
…staying motivated, whether that’s with a creative project, even when you don’t know how it’ll turn out, or with maintaining boundaries, even when you don’t know how other people will respond (it’s all connected!).
If this sounds like your cup of tea, join me for this seven-email series.
You’ll get an email a day for a week.
Ready to shift limiting beliefs around what’s possible, both in your relationships and your creativity? I’ll see you inside.
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