I spent much of the weekend outside enjoying the fall weather and really connecting to the shift in energy that accompanies the changing seasons. I came home inspired to do a tarot reading with the question “How can we flow with the energies of fall?”
I was called to use the hauntingly beautiful Bohemian Gothic Tarot, and here are the cards drawn for the reading:
From left to right: page of wands, eight of wands, and knight of wands reversed. It’s significant that all three cards are in the wands suit, which carries a fiery energy mirrored in the blazing oranges and red of the season’s foliage and in purifying fall bonfires, burning away that which no longer serves and preparing us for greater contact with the spirit world as the veil thins (wands are also the suit of spiritual energy). And wands bring to mind magic wands, which is very fitting in a time that feels positively steeped in magick!
Page of Wands
The first thing I noticed were the beams of light, brought into contrast by the overall shadowy image of the card. The messages began to stream through: In this season of lessening light, things that before were harder to see are now highlighted by the light that remains. When everything is lit, it can be hard to differentiate one thing from the next, but this season of contrast between light and dark throws issues, situations, and energies into relief, shining a spotlight on them and bringing them into your conscious awareness.
Use the energy of contrast this season to see what was previously hidden in plain sight. Look for contrasts between your expectations and reality, between your internal experience and your outer world, between what you say and what you do, between what you find pleasant and what upsets you. In this contrast you will find hidden treasures, illuminating parts of yourself and your world that you are now ready to see.
Music is also a prominent theme in this card, and I received the message that in this season, we must listen. What is calling you right now, calling you to explore and dig deeper? Physically, are there areas of tension or pain that are calling for your attention? Rather than rushing to subdue them, can you lean into the call and listen deeply? What about on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level? The Page is often seen as the messenger, delivering information that is important for us to receive and integrate, so now is the time to pay attention.
Finally, notice the mists in the card and see how the Page is emerging from them. What is emerging from the mists of your life right now? In this season of fall, you will gain understanding of things that were once shrouded in mystery. Can you already identify situations in your life where you previously felt confusion but now you have a greater understanding? Do you remember how it felt to be in that state of unknowing?
Learning to trust that things will be revealed when you are ready to see them is one of the lessons of this season. When we try to force understanding by diving headfirst into the mist, determined to “crack the case” and control the outcome, we only become more lost. You do not need to know everything. When you need to, you will. Clarity will come like the crispness of fall air, and learning to enjoy both the shrouds of mist and the invigorating clarity allows you to be at peace no matter where you are at in the process.
Eight of Wands
Fear can keep you looking backward. When you attempt to orchestrate elaborate systems of control to prevent fearful situations from arising, this has the effect of keeping you steeped in fear 24/7. We often carry the subconscious belief that if we stay in a chronic state of fear and worry, this will somehow prevent fear from being able to sneak up on us when we least expect it. When we’re used to a state of constant fear, we paradoxically feel safer in the midst of anxiety and worry–it’s “comfortable.”
This fall, bring awareness to the ways in which you try to preempt pain by inflicting it upon yourself. Do you reject yourself and others before they have a chance to reject you? Do you avoid asking for what you need so others won’t have a chance to say “no”? Do you sabotage yourself (your healthy eating goals, your relationships, etc.) before you have a chance to possibly fail?
Logically, it’s easy to look at these questions and see that these are ways of preventing people from accepting you, blocking others from responding favorably to your needs, and rejecting the joy of success. And yet, when we’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to engage in these behaviors.
Now is the time to bring awareness to any habitual “pain vaccinations” you might be self-administering, and you can use the messages of the page of wands and the power of contrast to do so. Combine this with an awareness of when you engage in complaining, and you will receive amazing insights into habits of self-sabotage.
Here’s an example: If you find yourself complaining about your partner and how they rarely express their feelings, use your complaining as a call to pause and dig deeper. Bring in the power of contrast by examining your expectation or desire (your partner regularly expressing how they feel) with the reality you are perceiving (they never express how they feel!).
How are you contributing to this situation by preempting your pain? Have you actually communicated your need to your partner that they express how they feel? If not, and you’re waiting for them to read your mind, you are helping to create a situation in which your needs are not getting met as a vaccination against the fear of being in a situation where your needs are not getting met. Read that last sentence again; it’s a bit of a brain twister.
How do you shift this energy? Stop taking those vaccinations! Take a risk and clearly articulate to your partner what you are needing, rather than allowing your fear of rejection and the possibility that they might say “no” to cause you to stay in your “comfort” zone of not getting what you need. Also, explore ways that you can meet this need within yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking your partner to be expressive (and on the flip side, there’s nothing wrong if that’s not a need they’re able to meet for you 100%), and at the same time, your role in this situation is not to change your partner. You can’t. Your role is to express your needs and initiate change within yourself, so use this time to do exactly that.
The final message of this card is recognize that moving “forward” does not imply moving away from sadness toward permanent happiness, or any other black and white scenarios. Look at the beautiful, mottled sky in the card. Just as fall has both vibrantly colorful leaves and longer nights, so, too, is our experience made richer and more authentic when we experience both the light and the shadow.
When we are able to integrate the two sides of our being, we learn that this integration does not come from denying the existence of our shadow, nor does it come from making the shadow light. There is magic and power in both, and we tap into this magic, not by forcing these polarities to be what they are not, but by celebrating their essence to the fullest and exploring the electric charge they create with their contrast.
Knight of Wands reversed
Our knight is taking a solitary walk through the cemetery, leaving his horse companion behind, accompanied only by the angel of death. In its reversed position, the journey of this card is directed inward, and you are being asked to look at the things in your life that are ready to die, the things that no longer serve and need to be released.
Notice the deep red color of the knight’s jacket and see how this matches the book carried by the page of wands. This blood-red color serves as a reminder of life, the energy that courses through our veins and separates the living from the dead. Life is dependent on death; we cannot have one without the other. When you release what no longer serves, you make room for new life to flourish. You cannot skip the dying if you are to enjoy the living and vice versa. As the cards, and the season, move toward stillness and death, we have a heightened sense of what it means to be alive (there’s that theme of contrast again).
This fall, as you let go of things that no longer serve, things that are ready to die, how does this highlight other aspects of your life that are richly alive? For example, perhaps you finally end a friendship that is no longer healthy, and in that space, you are now able to fully appreciate the relationships that really do light you up (including your relationship with yourself). Remember to use the contrast of the season–when something dies, explore what now feels more fully alive in its absence.
In this midst of letting go and connecting to shadow, it is important to stay grounded. It is significant that the knight dismounted before entering the cemetery. As we invite the energy of death into our life, it is important to balance this with the energy of life.
The page at the start of the reading clasps a small blood-red book, but by the knight’s stage in our journey, the life blood has expanded into a wearable shield of sorts, a more powerful reminder that we are still flesh and blood, grounded in the earth. As fall progresses, the veil between the worlds thins, facilitating spirit contact, and as we explore these more ethereal realms, we must remember to maintain a grounded presence. We are both body and soul, matter and spirit. Neglecting one in pursuit of the other gives us only half the experience, much like the eight of wand’s message that we must revel in both the light and the shadow in order to claim our full power.
Here’s to a magical and transformative fall!
