If I could tally up all the moments in which I’ve felt totally confused about what to do, I would still be counting up little tally marks in my next lifetime. But I’ve also realized that, quite often, I deliberately choose confusion, because it allows me to postpone change.
And apparently I’m not the only one bowing at the altar of Deliberate Confusion, because I’ve had many a conversation with friends about the massive amounts of confusion they feel, even though, in that very conversation, they’ve already stated “the answer” to whatever question they’re asking.
Have you ever said something like this: “I am so freakin’ overwhelmed–I have no idea what to do! I know I just need to quit this crappy job already, but I don’t know what to do!”
Granted, we often cram in a lot more verbiage to make the issue sound more confusing, but when you boil it down, we’re actually quite clear on what we want (if not need) to do, but we don’t feel ready to do it. And that’s fair. We might not be ready to do it. This isn’t a call for self-beration and a Shame Parade. But simply acknowledging, you know what, I actually do know what to do; I’m just not ready to take that step yet, can start to unhook your mind from the loop of obsession and allow you to take a step back from Deliberate Confusion.
And then what? Well, then we begin to have the space to look at why we’re not ready.
What fears are coming up when we think about taking this step?
Are we open to acknowledging that we have those fears…and choosing to act anyways?
What’s the worst case scenario?
And how might we respond if that came to pass? (Usually, it’s not as drastic as we think and/or we discover that we absolutely have enough strength/energy/love to power through just the same.)
What about those times when you feel genuinely confused? I believe that your Higher Self already knows the answer, but in those moments of confusion your conscious mind has forgotten this handy truth. And so around and around it goes, trying to logic its way through, and when that doesn’t work, it collapses in exhaustion until it has gathered up enough energy to start the whole process anew.
I have an invitation for you: The next time you catch yourself falling into this thought loop, take a deep breath and pause for a moment.
Say to yourself (or aloud), “I am open to receiving guidance on this issue. With gratitude, I open my mind, my heart, and my soul to the wisdom of my Higher Self.”
If you have time, simply sit in silence for a few minutes and let those words seep into your consciousness. If you’re in the middle of a grocery store, carry on with the shopping.
Then, for the next few days, whenever you find yourself wanting to go back into that obsessive loop of “what should I do?” return to this mantra and let it go. Some days, you might have to do this a dozen times.
Trust that the process is working, even if you’re not immediately struck by a lightening bolt of insight accompanied by a choir of angels. It will come (well, maybe not the choir), perhaps through a conversation with a friend, in meditation, or while reading a book.
When you do receive insight, follow up! Take action on the information you have received. This is a powerful act of faith akin to sending out an email to the Universe that says, “I trust my intuition, and I am opening myself up to more juicy insights–keep ’em comin’!”
When we repeatedly ignore our intuition, this is like sending a sad, little memo out to the Universe that says, “I don’t trust my inner wisdom. Don’t bother to share your insights with me.” (Picture sad puppy faces and crying clowns.)
Rather than giving your soul rug burn by kneeling at the altar of Deliberate Confusion again, open yourself up. Ask for guidance, and trust that it will come.
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
-Chinese Proverb