If I could pick one theme for my life over the last year it would be needs: acknowledging that I have needs, learning how to identify my needs, practicing asking for what I need, and opening up to receiving what I need.

It’s been a needy year. 

I wrote about what happens when you don’t own your needs in an earlier post where I likened this behavior to a game of hot potato. Well today, I was shown a very clear example of how not owning your needs can make things highly unpleasant for other people. 

A friend of mine had received a recommendation for an alternative health care provider, and she was really excited about booking her first session. I got a text from her shortly after, and she was super stressed because in response to the question, “What’s the cost?” this provider responded with, “Pay whatever you feel it’s worth.”


Now, keep in mind this provider is in business. This is her job.

I would imagine she has bills and financial obligations of her own, and she is the only one who knows what those obligations are, short of, perhaps, her accountant.

My friend is not her accountant. My friend should not have to determine the cost of this woman’s services for her.

My friend was so uncomfortable by this set up, and when she asked for my advice, I told her that I would let the provider know that I would be much more comfortable and relaxed in the session if she had a clear price set, and would she please do that, thank you.

When you don’t own your needs, when you interact with others you consciously or subconsciously pass those needs off to someone else.

Step into your power.

We are so blessed to be alive, to be a complex being who has needs–for food, air, love, play, sleep, money, joy…

Own your needs.

They are a wonderful part of being who you are.

And it isn’t another person’s responsibility (or right) to define those needs for you.

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