Happy Full Moon!
Virgo vibes are in the air, dolloping extra healing energy onto the weekend. To help you tap into this transformative flow, I want to share a recent dream I had.
Now, don’t worry—I know listening to someone else’s dream in agonizing detail can be a total snoozefest (unless you’re a fellow dream nerd), so I’ll stick to the important bits, I promise.
Here’s the set up: I’m trying to escape a building complex, and to do so, I have to blend in with all the other people milling around the halls and boarding a train. But blending in is also making it tricky to escape, because everyone else is simply following orders.
Already, my psyche is making it crystal clear: This dream, in large part, is about getting out of a psychological complex, and part of the challenge is the tug-of-war between pretending to be like everyone else and taking a risk that could lead to liberation.
Here’s the part that affected me so deeply, it woke me up at 2 am.
I board the train, joining everybody else in lying on the floor in even rows. I’m trying to hide my tattoos and avoid eye contact; anything to stay under the radar. We’re expected to remain quietly obedient as one of the men in charge lectures us.
In the midst of a very dry recounting of the rules, the person next to me leans in and whispers, “Are you an Impossible, too?”
I nodded, but it was only upon answering that I truly understood what this question meant.
To the rulers of the complex, it was impossible that anyone could survive outside of its rigid rules, but it was also inconceivable that anyone would want to. Surely we could all agree that it was far better, far safer to follow along and belong? Surely we would never risk belonging for the unknown?
To be an Impossible is to step outside of the status quo in ways that are meaningful for your personal growth.
This dream came at a time when I was struggling with a decision to distance myself from more members of my family, a process I began roughly five years ago.
Even though less familial contact has had a tremendously positive impact on my mental health, I still have inner child parts who sometimes need my support as I buck the status quo, especially given the bombardment of cultural messaging like, “Always put family first,” and “Blood is thicker than water.”
It’s easy to feel like a selfish jerk if you don’t go along with this very pervasive narrative. Hell, it’s easy to feel like a selfish jerk even if you do go along with the narrative but you secretly don’t want to!
I can see, looking back at when I encountered Jung’s work, not for the first time, but during a period when I was suffocating under the role-self prescribed by my family, my desperate yearning for freedom is what caused Jung’s writing to resonate so deeply.
The Jungian concept of individuation, which Jung believed we must all undergo if we wish to live fully as ourselves, requires disentangling who we authentically are from who other people expect us to be. In some areas, those identities might align, but often they won’t, and it can feel scary and lonely to embark on a path of your own design.
No one else can tell you what your values are.
No one else can prescribe meaning or purpose (although many will try! Buyer beware…).
Quite often, the people who raised us will not share our values, certainly not 100%, and I’ve often wondered if this is a cosmic plot device to push us toward necessary growth.
In some ways, it’s extraordinarily difficult being an Impossible. But it’s also easier, in many, many ways, than sacrificing your selfhood and waiting for one day, at last, to feel as if you finally have permission to be yourself.
No one else can grant you this permission.
In fact, humans being the tribal creatures we are, most people will try to convince you that you don’t have permission, in an attempt to keep you safely ensconced in the status quo.
Every day presents us with countless opportunities to be an Impossible, to choose authentic selfhood over the status quo.
Maybe, instead of saying yes to plans, you politely decline, saying you need the evening to recharge.
Perhaps you opt to stay at a hotel during a family visit to carve out valuable self-care time, instead of pushing yourself to be pleasant and social without any breaks.
Tip: I don’t visit family very often these days, but when I did, staying elsewhere was a game changer for me. If you’re dealing with pushback, you might frame it as: “I’ve learned that I’m a cheerier traveler when I have my own room/hermit hole/introvert nest, so I’ll be staying at a hotel. I’m really looking forward to seeing you!”
And if you need extra support, my boundary-setting class has plenty of customizable scripts, plus the psychological tools to help you feel comfortable actually using those scripts.
Are you an Impossible, too?
If so, you’re not alone, my friend. Even on the path of individuation, which, by definition, is unique to you, you will find fellow waymakers.
We’re out there, I promise.
Happy Full Moon. 💖
Next month, we’ve got some seriously magical things cookin’ in the cauldron.
I mentioned in my last Full Moon email that I’ve been turning my romance novel series into a hypersigil, which is a way to magically encode a system—in this case, the book series—with a specific intent. Then, whenever someone interacts with that system, the magical intent gets a boost.
In the same way, I’m turning The Portal into its own hypersigil with the help of my spirit guides.
I want the simple act of reading Portal emails to enhance members’ ability to successfully complete their own creative projects, whether that’s writing a legal brief, painting a landscape, or starting a business.
We’ll get into the nitty-gritty of hypersigils and how to create your own in our March Portal lessons. I hope to see you there!
